Why Refusing to Date Divorced Men Is the Dating App Equivalent of Asking for a Unicorn with a 401(k)

Image Credit, 99mimimi

Ladies, I get it – you don’t want to date a divorced man because you’re holding out to be someone’s first and only. You’re looking for that rare, mythical unicorn who somehow survived the trenches of middle age without collecting an ex-wife or a “conscious uncoupling” along the way. Totally understandable. But let’s take a moment, step back, and sip some humble tea.

If you’re hitting your 40s or 50s and proudly proclaiming you’ve never been married or had a relationship longer than two years, you might not be signaling “rare catch.” You might actually be sending out “Do Not Resuscitate” vibes to potential suitors. It’s not the flex you think it is.

Let’s break it down. Divorce doesn’t scream “damaged goods” – sometimes it just means a man got tired of debating throw pillow arrangements or faking interest in Pilates. Maybe his ex ran off with her yoga instructor. Maybe they fought over how to properly load a dishwasher. Or maybe – and hear me out – they just realized they didn’t like sharing the same Netflix account. It happens.

Meanwhile, you’re out here with a dating history that looks like a canceled TV pilot. One season, low ratings, and it just… ends. No finale. Just credits rolling over awkward silence. Sis, if you haven’t been locked down in decades of romantic captivity, men might start to wonder if you’re secretly living a double life as a cat burglar or leading a colony of stray cats.

And look, I’m not saying appearances are everything, but if your profile pic is giving “tired art teacher who smells like patchouli and regret” – maybe we need to regroup. A little mascara and a hairbrush never hurt anyone.

Remember, online dating is basically the Hunger Games for the middle-aged. The pool is already shallow, and half the men are just looking for someone who knows how to properly pronounce quinoa. Don’t disqualify a decent guy just because he’s been through the divorce wringer. You might miss out on a gem who’s just looking for love, a warm meal, and someone who won’t judge his growing collection of dad jokes.