The ‘Decent’ Dilemma: How to Write a Profile That Filters Out the Frogs

Image Credit, Susan Vanderwier

Ladies, if your dating profile says you’re “looking for someone decent,” you might as well say you’re looking for “someone with a pulse.” Trust me, every guy out there thinks he’s decent—even the ones with more baby mamas than a daytime talk show and enough mugshots to wallpaper your living room. Here are some hilariously honest tips to help you avoid a DM disaster.

Define “Decent” Clearly:
Instead of “decent,” get specific! Try: “Looking for a man who thinks chivalry isn’t just a medieval concept, can spell ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ correctly, and understands that ‘what’s up?’ is not a sufficient conversation starter.”

Be a Little Ridiculous (But Honest):
Want to weed out the weirdos? Write something like, “Must enjoy long walks to the fridge, spontaneous dance parties in the kitchen, and agreeing that pineapple on pizza is an unforgivable sin.”

Set the Bar High (But Not Too High):
Instead of “no cheaters,” go with, “Looking for someone who believes loyalty is more than just a cell phone plan, has fewer exes than Taylor Swift, and understands that ‘commitment’ isn’t a curse word.”

Use Humor to Filter the Creeps:
Try something like, “Seeking a man who doesn’t think ‘Hey sexy’ is a proper greeting, knows how to hold a conversation that doesn’t involve his biceps, and believes Netflix and chill should come with a plot twist and popcorn.”

Channel Your Inner Comedian:
Laughter is attractive! Write, “Looking for someone who will laugh at my jokes, even the bad ones, and won’t judge me for watching guilty-pleasure reality TV. Bonus points if you can quote ‘The Office’ on demand.”

Set a Challenge:
Filter out the lazy ones with, “If you can name all the Harry Potter books in order, understand the significance of ‘Friends’ trivia, and think brunch is a way of life, we might just get along.”

Get Real with Expectations:
Be upfront with, “Looking for someone who knows the difference between ‘to,’ ‘too,’ and ‘two,’ has more hobbies than swiping right, and won’t ghost me because his ‘dog died for the third time this month.'”

Remember, specificity is your friend. The more you spell out what “decent” means to you, the fewer messages you’ll get from guys who think showering occasionally and owning a single shirt with buttons qualifies them as Mr. Right. Happy swiping, and may your DMs be ever in your favor!