Swipe Left, Swipe Right, Swipe… Wait, Did She Just Say She Likes Poking Dead People?

Image Credit, Faye Newsome

So, you’re on a dating app, swiping through profiles like you’re scrolling through Netflix, trying to find something worth your time. You’ve got a rhythm going—left, left, right, oh hey, she looks interesting! And then, boom, you hit that bio. The one that starts off normal enough: “Loves hiking, enjoys a good book, partial to a glass of wine…” Nice, right? But then, suddenly, you’re hit with, “Also, I enjoy poking dead people.”

Wait, what? Poking dead people? I can understand if she listed in her bio, she works in a morgue or funeral parlour, but still a bit scary.

Let’s pause for a second, ladies. We get it—bios are supposed to be a glimpse into your quirky, unique self. You want to stand out! But there’s a difference between standing out and making someone wonder if they should be dialing 911 before they even ask for your number.

Imagine this from a guy’s perspective. He’s scrolling through, probably with half a sandwich in his mouth, thinking, “Wow, she’s cute, and she likes dogs too!” when suddenly—bam!—there it is: your love of poking the dearly departed. Now, instead of planning the perfect first date, he’s envisioning his future as the star of the latest true crime documentary. Not exactly the vibe you were going for, right?

Sure, being honest is important. But maybe, just maybe, save the forensic fascination for after you’ve established that you’re not secretly casting for the next season of Dexter. There’s a fine line between intriguing and terrifying, and I’m betting you’d rather be the former.

So next time you’re crafting that perfect bio, remember: it’s totally cool to talk about yourself. Love hiking? Awesome. Big fan of Game of Thrones? Nerd it up. But when it comes to the whole “I enjoy poking dead people” thing, maybe consider easing into that conversation a little later—like, after you’ve ensured they’re not going to call a coroner when you meet for coffee.

Let’s keep it light, ladies. Swipe right should be followed by a fun date, not a police report!