How Dare You?

Image Credit, Viola 

Online dating is like wandering into a carnival funhouse, except the mirrors aren’t the only thing distorting reality. Let’s talk about the wildest ride of them all: catfishing, and the sheer audacity of getting mad when you’re called out for it. Imagine the scenario—you’re on a dating app, presenting yourself as a glowing supermodel-level goddess in your profile picture. Meanwhile, in real life, you’re looking more “day three of a Netflix binge” than “red carpet ready.” It’s fine, right? Everyone uses filters! Until you hit the dreaded moment: the video chat.

The guy takes one look, his face goes from hopeful to horrified, and he drops the C-word: “Catfish!” What’s your response? Cue the Greta Thunberg soundbite: “HOW DARE YOU?” Really? How dare he? Sis, you can’t throw a digital mask on, pull the wool over someone’s eyes, and then act like he’s the bad guy for noticing. That’s like handing someone Monopoly money in a bank and being mad when the teller doesn’t let you walk out with $10,000.

Here’s the deal: online dating is supposed to be built on a tiny sliver of trust. Yes, filters are fair game (thank you, Snapchat). Yes, flattering angles are expected (hello, MySpace-era tilt). But when you take it to the next level by straight-up swiping someone else’s face—or an AI-generated “hot girl” image—you’re no longer playing the game. You’ve thrown the rulebook into the trash and expect everyone else to play Kumbaya around your bonfire of lies. Spoiler alert: guys aren’t programmed for that level of enlightenment.

If you’re out here thinking, “It’s what’s on the inside that counts,” sure, that’s a lovely Hallmark sentiment. But let’s be real: if you’ve led someone on by baiting them with a profile photo that looks like Margot Robbie when, in reality, you’re channeling “The Office” during casual Fridays, you’re not exactly inspiring trust and goodwill. Do you really think he’s going to say, “Oh, you lied to me about your entire identity, but your inner beauty makes it all okay!”? No, he’s going to ghost you faster than Casper the Friendly Catfish Caller.

And can we take a second to talk about your reaction? Being mad when he points out the obvious is not the power move you think it is. Imagine walking into a job interview after submitting a resume that says you’re a brain surgeon, and when they ask about your qualifications, you flip out: “HOW DARE YOU question me? My passion is what counts!” They’ll laugh, they’ll escort you out, and they’ll probably write “DO NOT REHIRE” on your file.

Ladies, here’s a hot tip for online dating: Set the bar low enough to walk over, but not so low you trip on it. Want to avoid the drama? Post a realistic photo! You don’t have to use the one where you just woke up with bedhead and yesterday’s eyeliner smudged across your cheeks, but it also shouldn’t be a picture so heavily edited that it looks like it belongs on a billboard for a completely different person.

At the end of the day, if you’re using these apps to find a genuine connection, maybe—just maybe—start by being genuine yourself. Because trust me, no one’s swiping right for the plot twist where your entire face turns out to be fictional. And if you’re expecting catfishing to end in happily ever after? HOW DARE YOU.