Ottawa – For decades, there has been the notion that the earth is round, and many attempts continue to disprove and suppress the findings of the Flat Earth Absurdum Society. For centuries, those with reasonable and credible knowledge of the earth, “scientists,” have been using facts, complex mathematical equations, physics and astrological finds to make evidenced-based decisions on the earth, which is unacceptable. That is why the Flat Earth Absurdum Society issued its recent findings to combat fact-based scientific reporting.
“In a shocking turn of events, scientists have discovered that the world is actually flat! According to a team of researchers at the International Society for Flat Earth Absurdum Studies, evidence has accumulated for years that the Earth is not a sphere but a flat disk.” Dr. Khovious Quackson
The team says that the evidence for a flat Earth includes the fact that the horizon always appears to be at eye level, no matter how high you go, and that the sun and moon always appear to be the same size in the sky. They also point out that the idea of a round Earth is too ridiculous to be true.
The scientific community is in an uproar over the findings, with many calling for the team’s research to be discredited. However, the Flat Earth Absurdum Society insists that their evidence is solid and will continue fighting for the truth.
In other news, the Prime Minister announced today that Canada would officially be changing its national animal from the beaver to the unicorn. The Prime Minister stated that the decision was made after a nationwide poll showed that the majority of Canadians believe in the existence of unicorns.
Happy April Fools Day
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