Swipe Right if You Hate Your Sanity: A Guide To Not Dating Drama Queens”

Picture this: You’re a guy, blissfully scrolling through dating app profiles, when you come across a woman who looks like she’s straight out of a magazine cover. Your heart skips a beat as you think, “Yes, this is the one!” But then you read her bio. It’s like she’s channeled the spirit of a Hollywood drama queen:

“Prepare yourself for a wild ride! 🎢 I’m only here to play hard to get. I’m going to toy with your emotions, ignore your messages, and leave you questioning if I even exist. But hey, if you think you can win me over, by all means, give it your best shot. 💪 Swipe right if you dare!”

Well, that’s a hard, hard swipe left for me, thank you very much. If this is your grand strategy for online dating, honey, you might want to consider taking up knitting instead. Because here’s the deal: No sane man is going to embark on a wild goose chase for a person who’s basically broadcasting, “I’m here to ruin your day, one ignored message at a time.”

Seriously, if your idea of fun is to be a human puzzle wrapped in a riddle and buried in a metaphorical crypt, you’re doing it all wrong. Dating apps are meant to connect people, not to play psychological chess where the only winner is the one who manages to stay sane. Spoiler alert: The guy who wants to connect with you might just decide that his time is better spent watching paint dry.

So, dear profile queen, if you’re planning on using this app as your personal stage for emotional gymnastics, maybe consider a different hobby. The world doesn’t need more red flags; we need less drama and more genuine connections. Or at the very least, a break from playing emotional dodgeball.